Song Drabbles
by MissCHSparkles
Summary: What do you get if you cross songs with Transformer characters? Random silliness, that's what. The first chapter is TFA Megatron singing to Optimus, hope you enjoy. Suggestions are very welcome.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note. Just something silly I thought up, matching songs to Transformer characters. I'd love some suggestions for other drabbles, please suggest them._

_Thanks._

_I don't own the song Me, it belongs to its owners._

_Enjoy and please review._

Animated Optimus and Megatron.

Optimus backed away from the advancing Decepticon, who was smirking in a way that didn't promise the Autobot anything good. He was unfortunately separated from the rest of his team. He wasn't sure who was fighting who but knew that each member of his team was fighting at least one Decepticon.

And lucky him, he got to fight Megatron, the ultimate slag maker. Although funnily enough, the large grey Mech had been acting rather oddly lately. He kept giving Optimus strange looks that Optimus had no idea what to make of.

"Give it up Megatron, there's no way you can win," Optimus now cried out defiantly as Megatron advanced.

He saw Megatron smirk and knew he must be just a few moments away from some gloating speech about how pathetic Autobots and organics were. But Optimus was utterly shocked by what _did_ come out of Megatron's mouth when he opened it.

"_You've been dreaming, just one dream,"__  
><em>_"Nearly all your life,"__  
><em>_Hoping, scheming, just one theme:"__  
><em>_"Will you be a wife?"_

"What in Primus's name?" Optimus thought dumbly as Megatron continued.

"Will you be some he-man's property?"

"Uh," Optimus replied but Megatron was already singing.

"Good news! That he-man's me!"

"I don't..." Optimus tried.

"This equation, girl plus man,"  
>"Doesn't help just you,"<br>"On occasion, women can,"  
>"Have their uses too,"<br>Mainly to extend the family tree,"

Megatron now gave him a very roguish wink.

_Pumpkin, extend with me!_

"Did he just call me pumpkin," Optimus thought dimly.

"_We'll be raising sons galore,"_

"_Inconceivable!"_ Optimus mumbled.

"_Each built six foot four!"_ Megatron sang.

"_Unbelievable!"_ Optimus muttered.

"_Each stuffed with ev'ry Gaston gene!"_ Megatron boasted proudly.

"_I'm not hearing this!"_ Optimus said dazedly, wondering if this was a dream.

"_You'll be keeping house with pride_!" Megatron continued.

"_Just incredible!"_ Optimus said, glancing about in case anyone was watching.

"_Oh so gratified,"_ Megatron said, coming even closer to Optimus who was steadily backing away.

"_So unweddable!" Optimus thought desperately._

"_That you are a part of this idyllic scene," _Megatroncontinued, unperturbed before suddenly gesturing into the distance.

"_Picture this: A rustic hunting lodge,__ "__  
><em>_"my latest kill roasting over the fire,__  
><em>_"my little wife massaging my feet, while"__  
><em>_"the little ones play on the floor with the dogs."__  
><em>_"We'll have six or seven!"_

"_Dogs?" _Optimus questioned.

"_No, Belle! Strapping boys...like me!"_

"_Imagine that!" _Optimus coughed.

"_I can see that we will share,"__  
><em>_"All that love implies,"__  
><em>_"We shall be a perfect pair,"__  
><em>_"Rather like my thighs,"_

Optimus shuddered as Megatron thrust his body towards him.

"_You are face to face with destiny!"__  
><em>_"All roads lead to..."__  
><em>_"The best things in life are..."__  
><em>_"All's well that ends with me!"__  
><em>_"Escape me? There's no way,"_

Optimus was trying to sneak away without success.

"_Certain as "Do, Re,"__  
><em>_"Belle, when you marry..."_

Megatron paused and said smugly.

"_So Belle, what would it be?"__  
><em>_"Is it "yes", or is it __**"oh, yes"?"**_

Optimus paused, thinking of an answer.

"_I...I just don't deserve you!" _he said finally.

_"Who does?" _Megatron declared before bawling the very last word of the song.

"_**ME!"**_

"_But thanks for asking,"_ Optimus said sardonically before transforming and driving for it.

_Author's note. I hope you liked this small bit of silliness, there may be more in the future._


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note. I know the first chapter was very silly but I hope you all had a giggle at least._

_The next chapter is going to be a request I received from someone, if anyone else has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them._

_I don't known Transformers or the song Chow Down, they belong to their respective owners._

_Enjoy and please review._

"So, where are we going?" Spike asked interestedly as Bumblebee drove along the dust road.

"There's been some suspicious activity on the delta quadrant," Bumblebee replied causing Spike to go.

"Huh?"

"The north of the Terrian desert," Bumblebee said, giving Spike the human name for the place. "I'm just going to do a little scouting, I'm not expecting to run into any trouble."

"And I am going to collect some samples," came Perceptor's voice from the red microscope that was strapped in the back of the car.

Spike grinned, turning around in the front so he could check on Bumblebee's fellow Autobot.

"What kind of samples, geological?" Spike asked, knowing that would likely be the answer.

"Mainly yes but I was hoping to collect some Insecta as well," was Perceptor's reply.

Spike shook his head slightly as he turned back to the front, Perceptor preferred to refer animals by their family name's rather than just saying, for example bugs.

"Oh," Spike said, nodding now. "Some cools, I hope you get some new ones."

"As do I," Perceptor said dryly.

They continued the rest of the journey without incident, at last arriving at the spot Bumblebee needed to scout. It was a very rocky area, with gullies and rock stacks everywhere. The place appeared to be deserted but there were scorch marks and powder burns all over the place which instantly put both Autobots on the alert.

"I don't like this," Bumblebee muttered as he started to examine the area.

"Guys," Spike said nervously, pointing to an old, sun baked tree half in shade.

Except that this tree appeared to have been chewed down to nearly a stump with bites marks visible. Something had been munching on this tree and there were three, very likely suspects.

"The Insecticons," Bumblebee said grimly. "I wonder what they're doing around here?"

"Dunno but I don't fancy running into them again," Spike said with a shiver, remembering the last few incidents involving the Insecticons.

"I shouldn't worry too much," Perceptor said dismissively. "They're just a bunch of slobbering, mangy wannabe organics."

"Heh, they are a little bit stupid," Spike couldn't help but giggle. Perceptor was a bit standoffish but when he made these humorous observations, everyone generally laughed.

"Guys," Bumblebee said warningly but it was already too late.

A shadow fell over them and they all looked up to see, three hulking black figures looming over them. They all looked very pissed and the two Autobots and human knew they were in big trouble. The Insecticon that formed a grasshopper when he wasn't in robot mode hissed.

"_He called us slobbering!__"_

As Bumblebee's, Perceptor's and Spike's mouths dropped, the Insecticon who turned into stag beetle now said.

"_Said we were mangy!__"_

"_Did I hear stupid?__" _Kickback growled.

"_Huh?__" _ the final Insecticon Bombshell demanded.

Things only got weirder as Shrapnel and Kickback now chorused.

"_Tell us again – gee,"__  
><em>_"It's so incredible__,"_

"_That you're so rude__," _Kickback said with an evil grin.

"_When you're so edible__," _Shrapnel sneered with a mocking tone.

"_When you are food!__" _the two of them now sang together as their prey tried to figure out a way out of this.

"_It's time to chow down__," _Shrapnel whispered with wide optics that glowed with hunger.

"_Chow down!" all three of them hissed, now advancing slowly on the helpless trio._

"_Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chow down,"_

"_I'm chompin' at the bit, baby__," Kickback cried, gnashing his sharp teeth together._

"_My stomach's on a growl, son__," _Shrapnel added, his optics on Spike now.

"Uh," Spike stammered as Shrapnel and Kickback did another chorus.

"_Chow down!"__  
><em>_"Chow down!"__  
><em>_"You both been invited on a date,"__  
><em>_"Two courses handed to us on a plate,"__  
><em>_"We'll have you raw, won't be long to wait__,"_

But now Bombshell joined in, all three of them were singing now.

"_Seeing you're already toasty brown,"__  
><em>_"Chow down!"__  
><em>_"Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chow down!__"_

"_You're ribs are looking so tasty__," _Shrapnel practically purred, optics shifting to Bumblebee.

"_Such chewy little chops, chums__," _Kickback called with a cackle.

"_Eat up!__" _They both cried, into almost a howl.

"_Now wasn't it her mom who ate your dad?__" _Kickball asked Shrapnel, after indicating Perceptor who looked very bemused.

"_And having parents eaten makes us mad__," _both of them growled_,_ opticsflashing madly.

"_We're gonna settle up the score a tad," _Shrapnel declared now to his fellow Insecticons.

"Let's get out of here," Spike whispered to his friends and they started to back away faster than ever.

The Insecticons were still singing, seemingly not to notice as their prey distanced themselves from them.

"_We've never had a snack of such renown,"__  
><em>_"Chow down!"__  
><em>_"Chow down!__"_

But now Bombshell was trying to get their attention.

"_Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-__"_

"_What, Ed? What is it?__" _Kickback asked curiously, focusing back on the things at hand.

But Shrapnel was already staring off, where Bombshell had been trying to point. He now said.

"_Hey, did we order this dinner to go?__"_

"_No," _Kickback said, confused.

"_Well, there it goes!__" _Shrapnel yelled before transforming into a stag beetle and charging after the running prey. The other two followed, both transforming and racing after the Autobots and their human friend.

All six of them spent the next half hour charging all over the desert plain. Bumblebee had no time to transform and grab his passengers, they were being fired upon. He compromised by scooping up Spike so that the human wasn't captured by the crazy Insecticons.

But in the end, they were forced into a gully and were cornered by the robotic bugs who transformed once more. They were all smirking at their prey who now looked very worried. And of course, Shrapnel and Kickback weren't finished their song.

"_I think we should begin the meal from scratch,"__  
><em>_"So many juicy segments to detatch,"__  
><em>_"Be good as gold for you're as good as carved,"_

"_Here, kitty kitty...__," _Kickback sniggered as Bumblebee bravely tried to shield his friends.

Shrapnel laughed harshly before saying with Kickback.

"_We're starved!"_

"And that's how you're going to remain," came a deep voice, from right above them all.

"Optimus," Spike cried out as the Autobot leader leapt down, sending the Insecticons scattering in all directions.

They cursed but they were no match for the angry red and blue truck and were forced to flee.

"You haven't heard the last of us," was Bombshell's last parting shot.

"I hope we never have to hear that again," Bumblebee said seriously, as he and his friends gathered around their leader safely.

"And if I hear Megatron singing any songs like that...I think I'll jump off a cliff or something."

"Hmm, I think I'll have to concur," Perceptor gasped, clutching his chest, still in shock.

"Me to," Spike said as Optimus gently held him, the boy was in shock as well.

"Me to."

_Author's note. Well, I hope everyone enjoyed that and can you guess where this song came from. I shall reveal in the next chapter, until then._


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's note. Suggestions for future chapters are very welcome._

_I don't own Transformers or the song Kiss the Girl, they belong to their respective owners._

_Suggestions are very welcome._

_Enjoy and please review._

"Hey, what's up Mech?" Blaster asked cheerfully as he slid into a booth across from Jazz.

"Hmm, nothing," Jazz said gloomily, staring mournfully into his cube of Energon.

"Aw, come on Jazz Man, you can tell me," Blaster probed causing Jazz to chuckle bitterly.

"That's the problem, Blaster Blast, nothing's happening...with Prowl," Jazz said miserably. "Does matter how many hints I give him, he just won't get that ah'm into him, ya know?"

"He really hasn't gotten a hint yet?" Blaster said disbelief. "But you've been spending so much time with him, taking care of him and everything."

"Leaving him little gifts, getting him nice Energon, making sure the twins don't bother him too much," Jazz said with a heavy sigh. "I mean, it's not like he doesn't say thank you or make sure I know he appreciates it but...he just doesn't get why.

He took a large gulp of his Energon before saying.

"He thinks I'm just being friendly, in a 'let's stay good friends' instead of _other_ kind of _friendly."_

Blaster nodded, he could see this was a huge problem for poor Jazz, he really liked Prowl and wanted to court him.

"Why don't you just tell him?" he asked softly.

"I can't," Jazz said, shaking his head. "You know how Prowl is, I need to know he'd be interested in a courtship first. As much as I want to be with him, I don't want to risk our friendship by coming on too strong, and without gauging his feelings towards me."

"But so far, he's only gave the impression he considers you a close friend," Blaster asked and got a nod in return.

"Hmm, well this needs some thinking," Blaster now said thoughtfully. "I think you are right about not pouncing on him, he needs to make it clear that's what he wants."

Jazz nodded slowly but it sadly didn't solve his problem.

"Look, I'll tell you what," Blaster now said as an idea hit him. "Go on another date with Prowl and see how that goes. A nice romantic spot like that one by the lake in the woods, you can take some nice Energon goodies with you. That'll set the mood."

"For what?" Jazz said, not sure what Blaster had in mind, what would go differently that hadn't before.

"You'll see," Blaster said with a slow wink. "Just ask him if he fancies a nice drive in the woods, where you can both get away from all the hustle and bustle of the base. Considering his personality, I think he'll agree. We could always stuff the twins in the brig to sweeten the deal."

This caused Jazz to burst out laughing, making Blaster happy he'd cheered up his friend. And he was determined that _this _date would go Jazz's way.

Later that evening

"This was a good idea, Jazz," Prowl said pleasantly as they both drove through the secluded wooded area.

"Thanks, Prowlie," Jazz said, putting on a cheerful voice even as his insides squirmed with nerves. He so hoped this would go alright.

"Jazz, that nickname," Prowl groaned as they finally reached the lakeside.

"Aw come one," Jazz teased. "Ya know ya can call me anything you want."

"Hmm," Prowl hummed but transformed without another word.

Jazz looked proudly at the setting after transforming, it was a lovely spot. Surely, Prowl couldn't possibly mistake his intentions here. He now turned towards his secret love, indicating the grassy slight slope that over looked the lake in all its glory.

Prowl sat down and Jazz joined him after sub spacing two delicious cubes of Energon, sweetened with additives. He'd chosen ones he knew Prowl would enjoy and surely would put him in a very good mood.

"Here we go," he now said, offering them to Prowl who gratefully took his cube and began to sip it.

"Mmm, you've added something," Prowl noted to which Jazz grinned.

"Yeah, this place is too nice not to have something a little special."

Prowl smiled back but sadly, said nothing.

They just sat there for a little while, enjoying each other's company and their cubes of Energon. But while it was nice, it wasn't enough for Jazz, he wanted to be able to snuggle up to Prowl, hold his hand and maybe share a kiss or two. Blaster better act soon or they'd both go home unsatisfied.

"_There you see her,"__  
><em>_"Sitting there across the way,"_

"Huh?" Prowl said in confusion as he suddenly detected music and a song floating through the air.

"_She don't got a lot to say,"__  
><em>_"But there's something about her,"_

"What...what is that?" Prowl now asked, his body tense as he glanced around the place.

"_And you don't know why,"__  
><em>_"But you're dying to try,"__  
><em>_"You wanna kiss the girl."_

"Someone's playing a song," Jazz said with a shrug, while inwardly smiling. Blaster, you sly old Cyberhound.

"_Yes, you want her,"__  
><em>_"Look at her, you know you do,"__  
><em>_"It's possible she wants you too,"__  
><em>_"There's one way to ask her,"__  
><em>_"It don't take a word, not a single word,"__  
><em>_"Go on and kiss the girl,"_

"I know that but I thought we were alone," Prowl said, now frowning as the song's last line was echoed.

"_((((kiss the girl)))"_

Jazz's Spark nearly skipped a beat, did that mean Prowl _wanted_ to be _alone_ with _him?_

"_Shalalalala,"__  
><em>_"My oh my,"__  
><em>_"Looks like the boy's too shy,"__  
><em>_"Ain't gonna kiss the girl,"_

Prowl cocked his head as he listened to the lyrics, what an odd song to play. This wasn't a private spot, were there some humans about enjoying the peacefully evening like him and Jazz?

"_Shalalalala,"__  
><em>_"Ain't that sad,"__  
><em>_"it's such a shame,"__  
><em>_"Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl,"__  
><em>_"go on and kiss the girl,"_

Jazz was watching Prowl closely while not being obvious about it, surely the Praxain was getting this hint.

"_((((kiss the girl))))"_

_"Now's your moment,"__  
><em>_"Floating in a blue lagoon,"__  
><em>_"Boy, you better do it soon,"__  
><em>_"No time will be better,"__  
><em>_"She don't say a word,"__  
><em>_"And she won't say a word,"__  
><em>_"Until you kiss the girl," _

Prowl stopped frowning and glanced over at Jazz who was staring out over the lack, a moon had appeared and was lighting up the whole place. Crickets gently chirped in the undergrowth and there were a few fireflies out and about.

"_((((kiss the girl))))"_

"_Shalalalala,"__  
><em>_"My oh my,"__  
><em>_"Looks like the boy's too shy,"__  
><em>_"Ain't gonna kiss the girl,"__  
><em>_"Shalalalala,"__  
><em>_"Ain't that sad,"__  
><em>_"it's such a shame,"__  
><em>_"Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl,"_

Unseen by Jazz, Prowl blushed a bit, those lyrics were really echoing around in his processor.

"_Shalalalala,"__  
><em>_"Don't be scared,"__  
><em>_"You better be prepared,"__  
><em>_"Go on and kiss the girl,"_

"Kiss the girl?" Prowl murmured very softly, so softly that Jazz didn't catch it.

"_Shalalalala,"__  
><em>_"Don't stop now,"__  
><em>_"Don't try to hide it how,"__  
><em>_"You wanna kiss the girl,"__  
><em>_"Go on and kiss the girl,"_

Prowl swallowed, this was starting to get awkward. He was trying not to squirm, it just wouldn't be seemly.

"_(((kiss the girl)))"_

The words wouldn't stop and the urge to do as they said rose up inside him, more powerful than ever.

"_((((oh, ohnoo..))))"_

Jazz sighed as he grabbed a stone and skipped it across the water, causing many ripples to form. He wasn't sure how well this was going as he was avoiding looking at Prowl too much. Besides, if Prowl was checking him out, he wanted to make that as easy as possible.

"_((((kiss the girl, kiss the girl))))"__  
><em>_"Lalalala, Lalalala,"__  
><em>_"Go on and kiss the girl,"__  
><em>_"Lalalala, Lalalala,"__  
><em>_"Go on and kiss the girl,"_

Prowl gulped softly, watching Jazz's beautiful form glitter in the moonlight, the Mech was still watching the ripples his thrown stone had caused. Dare he try to kiss Jazz, his best friend?

_"Shalalalala,"__  
><em>_"My oh myyyyy,"__  
><em>_"Looks like the boy's too shy,"__  
><em>_"Ain't gonna kiss the girl,"__  
><em>_"Shalalalala,"__  
><em>_"Ain't that sad,"__  
><em>_"it's such a shame,"__  
><em>_"Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl,"_

"To hell with it," Prowl hissed, and as Jazz turned around in surprise, seized hold of his shoulders pressed the stunned saboteur's lips to his own. His kiss was a bit harder than he'd normally bestow but he felt so caught up in the song, that he couldn't help himself.

"_Lalalala, Lalalala,"__  
><em>_"((((Go on and kiss the girl))))"_

Jazz didn't take long to get over his shock, with a sharp whoop, he threw his arms around Prowl and kissed him back with even more force. He moaned with relief, happiness and passion, the latter growing stronger and stronger.

"_Go on and kiss that girl!"__  
><em>_"Lalalala, Lalalala,"__  
><em>_"(((Go on and kiss the girl)))"_

Now Prowl was moaning loudly, feeling both want and pleasure building up inside him as he started to push Jazz towards the ground, barely noticing the song now.

"_Go on and kiss the girl,"__  
><em>_"Kiss the girl,"_

"Is it working?" Blaster couldn't help but ask, the song was nearly over. His optics widened as he saw Prowl on top of Jazz, both of them groping for their Cod Pieces. With a smile, the tape player withdrew, those two needed some privacy.

"_((((Kiss the girl)))"_

"My work here is done," he said with a happy sigh as he started to jog away, back to the base, knowing the two lovers would be alright.

"_Go on and kiss the girl,"_

_Author's note. Hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did, remember, suggestions are welcome._


End file.
